I must decrease so God can increase!!! It's not about me!!

I don't know if I should be writing these things but I have to be honest. So here goes...

Why is it that when we are faced with the chance to live out our faith in God, things seem so much harder?

This last month the Lord has been breaking my heart of pride and self-reliance. I never new I was struggling with these things until someone I love and respect said something that got me to thinking.

My pride was in the fact that I wasn't like the people I was living around. I realized that I have so much being here in Jinja. I am staying in a western style home with almost all the comforts of where I grew up. Yet, was I called here to live so comfortably above the people? Am I called to minister to the Ugandans and then go back to my "rich" mans home? What does it mean for me to be living with these people? How can I show them God's love and not be living like them? Do I think I'm better then they? Am I trying to show them that white people do have money and that if you become a christian you'll have money too? How Do I show people God's love without them thinking that if they come to Jesus they'll be "rich"?

The Lord revealed to me that I was becoming calloused to the poverty and to the people around me. His People. I realized how selfish I was being and that I was becoming a bad witness. My heart is being torn apart. I am being humbled and brought to my knees daily. Sometimes over something I have already been taught. The Lord is "cleaning house" so to speak, with my heart.

Jesus came to the earth as a man. He never seemed to be in want for anything. God always took care of him. Provided all he needed. Yet he wasn't a rich man.

I am struggling with the question. What does it mean to live, serve and become like the people of Uganda?

About a week ago we had a guest speaker come and teach in our mid week bible study. He told us the story of when he first came to Uganda and how God had told him to live by faith.
I was convicted because that is something the Lord has been telling me over the last nine months that I have lived in Uganda. Faith is the key to living as a missionary. People have let me down but the Lord still remains faithful.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Please be praying with me that the Lord would reveal to me what it means to be his servant. I am called to love and serve the people of Uganda. Lord what does that look like?

Some people think me unwise for being here without consistent monthly support and having no idea where I'll be full time.

I don't have the answers. But I do know that God works in mysterious ways. He has already provided ministry opportunities and opened the doors to thing that I never thought would be possible.

This journey has been hard, challenging and stretching for me. My faith and whole person is being transformed and the only thing I want is to be more and more like my Father, Saviour and Redeemer, God.